Guilt
by YJ-Obsessed
Summary: This is a story about Robin and his crush on Zatanna. He is confused because, he feels bad for her, he really does. But, he's also a little glad that Zatara is out of the picture. Is he a total monster? Here's Bruce's opinion on the matter
1. Chapter 1

_**This is a chapter somewhere between Misplaced and Coldhearted. Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice, or any of it's characters or the episode titles. I am just in love with-and obsessed with ;)-the show and all its wonders. So sue me. Not literally.**_

Robin ran out of his room and down the hallway. On his way, he ran into Zatanna. Like, he literally ran into her. They fell on the floor and she was on top of him. He had used his ninja skills to land on the bottom and be a gentleman by cushioning her fall. Zatanna noticed this.  
>"Um. . .Thanks, Robin." Robin laughed. "No problem. I figure it's the least I can do when I run into you like that."<p>

Zatanna laughed too, still on top of him. "Yeah, what was that about?" Robin kind of frowned.

"Wally texted me that he was going play this new video game without me." Robin told her.

Zatanna raised an eyebrow. "And that is worth running me down for?" Robin gave her a half-smile. "Well, when you put it that way, it sounds silly." Robin admitted. Zatanna's hair fell down around them. He felt like they were in their own little world. He felt a little weird, though. Being this close to her. She must have felt that way too, because she got off and stood up, offering her hand. She pulled him up and they walked down the hallway, neither sure who should let go, and enjoying the contact. He was so glad she was here with them. With him. He was actually glad that Zatara had put on the helmet. *Dude!* he yelled at himself. *That's her _father_. You can't be thinking that. Besides, he's a member of the Justice League. How can you even think that?* He was right. . . the responsible part of Robin, that is.

In his own head, Robin had two people inside. Richard-or Dick, depending on who you talked to-was the responsible one. He was polite and well-mannered, very considerate. He never did anything that was too out of line. He did do some occasional crazy things, but he was a teenage boy, that was to be expected. Then, there was Robin. He was a lot like Dick, except that he was a little more of the bad boy. More flirtatious-not as bad as Wally. He liked to take more risks, and was-on occasion-a little more selfish. Both knew that it was wrong to be glad for Zatara's absence. Especially when you could see how hard it was for Zatanna. It's just that Robin knew that he would have no other chance to spend time with her if Zatara _wasn't_ gone.

The two let go of each other's hands when they got to the living room. Robin and Wally played the video game, and Wally got owned, as usual. Robin tried to push the guilt into the back of his mind, but it was hard. He didn't let it show to the team. Wally might have known what was going on. . . or at least suspected. But that's only because he knew both parts of him. Robin and Dick. It was hard to hide anything from Wally. He was relieved when Batman came in. "Robin." the team jumped. Zatanna grabbed his arm. He smiled. *See, Dick? This wouldn't be happening if Zatara was her. . . * Robin thought. *So? That isn't the point! It's still wrong. . . Isn't it?* Someone once told him that it wasn't wrong to fight with yourself so long as you never lost. Well, what was the rule for you persuading yourself to change your mind to agree with the other . . . you? Robin didn't want to call it his other voice. Then he would _really_ sound crazy.

Batman was a little confused. Zatanna had just clung to Robin's arm when she jumped, and he didn't look happy. Or course, Batman knew that Robin liked her. So, Robin should be happy about that right? Maybe puberty wasn't the same as when he was a boy. *No, that doesn't make any sense.* Whatever was going on, Batman didn't say anything until they had Zeta-ed to the Bat Cave. Robin started to walk up to the cave entrance-well exit right now-and Batman, now Bruce after removing the cowl, called him back. Robin, Dick, turned around. "What is it Bruce?"

"Is something wrong?" Dick looked at him for a moment, debating whether or not to answer, or how to answer.

The young boy sighed. "I-Bruce, I am. . . just. . . wrong." Dick finished in a surprisingly illiterate way.

"You're wrong?"

"I didn't really know how else to say it. I mean. . . you know Zatanna? Of course you know her, you gave your word to her father you would watch out for her before he pretty much gave his life up for her." Dick answered his own question bitterly.

"What about Zatanna?" Bruce found it was better to just ride out the waves of Richard's mental storms. If you tried to control them or fight. . .it didn't really work out for anyone.

"Well. You probably figured out by now I liked her. . ." Dick looked away blushing. He had started to so that every once in a while when girls were brought up. He was becoming more aware of the opposite sex. Something Bruce had been dreading. *Oh the joys of teenage hormones.* Bruce thought sarcastically.

"Yes, Dick, I knew."

"Well. . . I-I think I'm. . . .happy about. . . Zatara. Being gone I mean." Bruce didn't say anything. He couldn't. Richard was happy? Was he serious?

"Bruce, let me explain! It's not that I'm happy he's gone or that he had to give up his life or that he had to leave Zatanna. How could I when I see the pain on her face practically every day? It's just. . . .Well, with her living at the cave now. . . .It's just that. Well, now I actually have a chance to get to know her and spend time with her. I can make her laugh and. . . .and I'm happy. It's totally sick right? How can I be happy when everyone else is thinking of ways to get Zatara out? Gah! What's wrong with me?" Dick asked, his voice cracking a little in between his little monologue. Bruce did his best not to laugh. His little bird was in love. He was feeling all the complicated emotions that came with it at the worst possible time. Bruce couldn't keep himself a little.

"Are you-are you laughing? Bruce, come on, this is serious." Dick said indignantly, again, voice cracking. Bruce _was_ laughing. He couldn't help it. It was funny.

"I'm sorry, Dick. It's just that. . . well, this is normal. Maybe not the situation, but the confusion? Totally part of growing up. The cracking voice comes with it too. You are a teenage boy. You're supposed to want girls at the worst of times. And I think Zatara was coming around. If-_When_-we get Zatara back, I think Zatanna will still be on the team. And it's a good thing that she can be with you. You can understand better than anyone else on the team. It's not sick." Bruce put his hand on his son's shoulder. Dick looked up at him.

He looked up at Bruce for a minute or two then said, "I have to ask you something."

"Go ahead."

"Is my voice cracking that noticeable?"


	2. Chapter 2

_**I changed my mind. This story was originally going to be a one-shot, but I really really wanted to have Zatanna's p.o.v. So, this story is now a two-shot. Enjoy!**_

****Zee stared into Robin's eyes. Well, imagined she was staring into his eyes. All Zee could really see was her reflection in his sunglasses. Zatanna knew that Robin liked her. She knew from the first time they met. As she lay on top of him, she wondered when he would tell her so. He was sweet to her. He showed her all around the cave. He would make her laugh. When she would get into one of her funks, Robin would be the only one who could make her laugh and get her out of it. She didn't know how, but Robin seemed to understand. She shifted her body just slightly higher so that she could peer over Robin's sunglasses. Zatanna saw two big crystal blue eyes. They were the most beautiful eyes that she had ever seen. Zatanna quickly got up and offered her hand to Robin. He had taken the fall for her, she could help him up.

They walked down the hall, still holding hands. Zee sure as heck wasn't about to let go. Unless, of course, she was just super vain and Robin didn't really like her at all but was just super friendly and that was why he was so nice to her and he started to let go of her hand. Then, she would play it cool and act like it didn't break her heart. Even though she would be crushed inside. Robin didn't let go though. If anything, Robin held on tighter. Zee smiled and tossed her head so that her hair fell behind her shoulder. They walked down the hall in companionable silence. Zee thought to herself *Good thing that Dad isn't here. He would probably vaporize poor Robin.* Wait what? Good thing? *How can this be a good thing? Dad is _gone! _What's wrong with me?* Zatanna wouldn't ever tell anyone else this, but she sort of separated herself in to two different people. Well, more like two sides of herself. Zatanna and Zee. They were really the same person, but at the same time, they were their own person. Does that make any sense? Of course it doesn't.

Zatanna is the girl that everyone usually sees. She does what her dad says. She says all the right things. She is very sweet and not forward in the slightest. Then, there is Zee. Zee loves Zatara, but she would love to just knock that stupid top-hat off of his head and feed it to him. Zee was always on the inside. She was the wild side. The one that told the team to kidnap her. The one that told Robin to be as chalant as he liked. And Zee was the one who would grab a boys hand and not let go. Zee was in control right now. *If Zatara were here, you wouldn't be able to hold Robin's hand.* Zee had a point. *But if Dad were here, I wouldn't have to live at the cave. I could live at home.*

*Oh please. What is so great about home? You like it here, and you know it. You have friends here. Friends who appreciate what you can do. And a boy who thinks that you are gorgeous.* Zatanna looked at Robin. He saw her out of the corner of his eye. He turned and offered her a small smile. When they got to the doorway by the living room, they let go at the same time. Somehow, without saying anything, they both knew that now was not the time for the team to see them holding hands. Not when they hadn't even talked to each other about how they felt.

Zatanna watched Robin kick Wally's butt in video games. She was almost positive that Robin was hacking. Not that Rob needed to. She had a feeling that he was showing off for her. They played for a while, everyone laughing when Wally lost even worse than the first ten times. Was it possible for someone to get progressively worse at something? Apparently with Wally, anything was possible. Zee jumped when she heard Batman suddenly say "Robin." She grabbed the mentioned Boy Wonder's arm. He looked down at his arm in surprise. She didn't know what to expect when she did this, but she didn't expect Robin to look so. . . . .so sad. *What did I do?* She thought to herself.

Robin got up and left. Zatanna sat with the team for a while, but eventually, she went to her room. Zee lay on her bed, thinking about her conflicting emotions. On the one hand, she missed her dad. Terribly and desperately. She wanted him back more than anything She wanted to tell him how sorry she was that she didn't listen and that she screwed up. Then, there was that other, sickeningly more appealing hand. She was glad that her dad was gone. Zatanna had fallen for Robin from the start. Her dad didn't like him. Zatara would never have let her live in the cave with boys. Especially with a boy that he could tell she liked. Zee wouldn't have been able to spend time with Robin. She wouldn't have been able to get to know him-as much as you can know someone who won't tell you who you really are. Robin was. . . . .he was everything. Smart, funny, caring, serious, crazy, young, mature, a tech-head, a great listener, an even better friend. Zatanna even loved the way his voice had recently started cracking around her. She didn't hear it as much when he didn't know that she was around. If she was just walking around the corner, and he was talking to someone else, it wasn't so bad. When she was looking at him face to face, he would often blush and his voice cracked a lot.

*Still. No matter how cute he is. . .and he is _so_ cute. I shouldn't be happy that Dad is trapped with Doctor Fate.*

(But, it is understandable why you would feel that way.) Oh no. It happened. Zee was hearing voices other than herself and. . . . .her other self.

(No silly. You aren't crazy. I'm sorry. I should have asked first, it's just that. I could hear you so easily. You were thinking so hard you pretty much sent it to me. I can ignore it if you prefer.)

(Oh. It's you M'gann. No, it's fine that you did it. I could actually use someone to talk this through with right now. I just. . . .I feel so mixed up. I know that I shouldn't be thinking about this right now but. . . )

(But Robin is the first boy you ever really saw?) Megan finished.

(Well, yeah. How did you know?)

Megan sent Zatanna a feeling of understanding. (I can feel how much you like Robin. It's exactly how I felt when I first saw Superboy. When he started to flirt with me I felt like. . . .)

(Like you were the only two people in the room.) Zee thought.

(Exactly! So, it makes sense that you would be a little relieved to not have your dad looking over your shoulder when you were with him. He's your first crush.)

Zatanna hadn't thought about that. It made a lot more sense. She had just been thinking that she was a horrible person. She hadn't thought about the fact that she was a teenage girl going through puberty. She still felt a little bad, but nearly as guilt ridden as before. At least. . . . . not guilty about liking being here with Robin. Zatanna still felt horrible about what she did to her dad.

(Zatanna, don't. Don't do this to yourself. It isn't your fault that he put on the helmet. You saved us all.)

(Yeah, but it's still my fault. If I hadn't put on that stupid helmet and become Doctor Fate. . . . none of this would have happened.)

Megan leaned her head against her wall. *How do I say this right?* (Look, Zatanna. I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but it's Zatara's fault. Let me explain!) Megan could feel the anger rolling off of Zee in waves. (I know that he did it because he loves you. I know that he saw it as the only solution. All I am saying is that, your father is the one who chose to sacrifice himself for you. No one made him. No one ripped the helmet off of your head and forced it onto his. Zatara is a good man. He is an even better father. He loved you so much that he was willing to give up his life to serving as Nabu's host so that you could live as yourself. This isn't your fault Zatanna. And it really isn't your father's either. It's Nabu's. He is so convinced that he is so needed in the world, and so selfish, that he refuses to except the fact that he can't be here on his own. He uses and manipulates people.)

Zatanna closed her eyes. She let out a few tears. Zee had been so consumed with guilt and self-loathing, she hadn't let her friend's help her. Not really. (Megan. . . I don't even-)

(You don't need to say anything. I just wanted you to know that no one blames you but yourself. We can get him back. We have the League on our side.)

(Thank you.)

(You're welcome. Now. . . Tell me about you and Robin!)

Zatanna smiled. (Oh, where do I even begin?)


End file.
